I've run out of toilet paper. What would make a good alternative?

News of the world?
Pillowcase?
Family photo's?
Slow moving pet?
Granny's hat?

Answers:
News of the world - may result in black stains round your bum

Pillowcase - may be difficult to control wiping since most of it would flap around in the loo and soak up your poo and water in the bowl

Family photos - good if it's a photo of your ex, but may be slippery when wiping resulting in brown muck all around your bum

Slow moving pet - fur may be a bit too soft to wipe with and a turtle is a definite 'no-no', but if the pet belongs to an ex then this might justify its use

Granny's hat - now why would you want to use poor little ol' granny's hat?

Other answers:
Hat defo!
Hat defo!
kleenex
paper towel
use the news paper
go out and buy more toilet paper.

Or you could use the news of the world.... not sure wheather you can flush that though!
news of the world or you could just go and buy some toilet paper
none! ur sock or use ya fingers u can always wash them afterwards with your mouth :)
Your cat.

After all, he'd do it to you if roles were reversed.
drip dry, time consuming but it does the trick
1. towel
2. newspaper
3. forget about it
4. call your family members
5. magazine
Pinecone
Just wash it dude..lol
Small stuffed animal? Rice cake? Bidet? Spare change?

I don't know. Good luck to you though. How far away is the store?
try using your face. lol
you ran out of toilet paper and you're typing foolish questions on your computer? NASTY!?!?!


(what in the world did people do BEFORE HomeABC.net ! Good grief)
big brother magazine articles
A Chelsea football shirt :-)
stinging nettles.
Pound Notes.
Wall paper
Your socks.
The news article called " Gas goes up again"---wipe very generously
kleenex or paper towels
the sun,the sport,or the news of the world.if you dont want ink marks go for the times!
Just water!
And a tiny little hose ... as all people in Asia do.
It is very clean and U really feel good AND CLEAN after.
are you serious?
I vote for the pet!! No I don't but if you have any baby wipes around or maybe a soft paper towel or napkin. If it were me I'd just go to the nearest public restroom and take a few extra sheets.
shower wand.
You've also used up whatever level of intelligence, self respect, repect for others, and regard for wasting natural resources, that you might have possessed at one point.

Rev. Steven
Take a shower. Feels best...

If not that, the world news would be my choice. Least bother, even if you later feel the need to use such again... just get a new paper.
To save running out of paper the next time, try to economise and start using both side of the toilet paper...easy!
some interesting thoughts:

pillowcase can be washed (thumbs up)

news of the world might leave ink on your bum (thumbs down)

family photo will be too slick to clean you (thumbs down)

slow moving pet could bite (thumbs down)

granny's hat is washable, however, i would suggest removing from her head first (thumb halfway up)
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