A family of ceramic gnomes seems to have taken up residence in my garden. What should I do?
Answers:
Ask them if you can get any good rates on Travelocity.
Other answers:
Put a "For Sale" sign on them...or better yet put a "FREE" sign on them!
Put a "For Sale" sign on them...or better yet put a "FREE" sign on them!
Feed them daily and speak softly to them
Gnomes like plants and animals, don't worry about it. They don't breed too excessively. They'll just help out with the yard work, and bring you good luck. They're nice little boogers, not like imps or boggarts.
First,determine if they are indeed "legal" gnomes. Otherwise, you have no recourse except to grant them "guest gnome" status, employ them in their "lucky statuary" jobs and hope they don't reproduce.
WARNING!! WARNING! The National Association of Illegal Gnome Immigration has a very important message for you!!!
Section 7 prgh11 p3457 of NAIGI Regulations:
If any unregistered gnome (ceramic) is to take residence in a garden the registered owner of the garden in which the unregistered gnome has illegaly immagrated into hereby has the right to smash the gnome with any Class 1 demolition tool.
Rent a video of the smurfs, put it in your neighbors window and hope they will go to their yard and watch the video!
Kill them; ALL of them! Once they multiply, you could have HUNDREDS of them running around! They burrow & make holes everywhere. If you don't take care of them now, you'll have to call pest control later.
Enjoy them :)
Use a freakin 12 gauge on em
GOSH!!
Cherish and protect them? You could build them a nice little gnome home...
If you're really into gnomes and have the space, you could take a few tips from "The Gnome Reserve" here in England (somewhere in Devon) and encourage even more to populate your garden, set up a mine perhaps (they're good at that) and generally exercise your own imagination and that of the Gnome Council, as well as other gnomophiles.
Once you have the confidence of your gnomes, invite other people to visit... it's a good idea if they hire gnome hats from you too... makes the little guys feel more comfortable (and provides monetary compensation for your inconvenience!).
Watch out for ancient gnomes - (but make sure they're secure!) and, if you can create a Gnome-like picnic or play area for human kids...
You and your gnomes might have to move to a bigger property eventually... preferably in a wooded area! :-)
Call Expedia and tell them to come get there friggin, ugly, make that hidious gnomes and get them away from your yard. Where do you live??? Lawn ornaments went out with flamingos!
'Fire' them.
Leave them there. Gnomes are cool.
watch they dont steal your underwear from the clothes line
shifty little buggers.
Sleep with one eye open
I can hear something outside
AAAAHHHHH!!!
there probably looking for a stump to move into but with the housing shortage any thing can happen make sure your garbage cans are shut tight or a major exodus could be emmenent oh oh watch for those faries there next