I think there is a walrus in my heating ducts. Should I inform the landlord?
Answers:
Hi uw,
First off let's not be ridiculous. Everyone knows that walruses only get stuck in the plumbing (water duh). My guess is what you got stuck in your heating duct is a big ol fat LANLORD spying on your skinny girlfriend. I would promptly report him to the appropriate authorities.
Also please feed that girl as I can barely see her with my binoculars.
Other answers:
Absolutely. Walruses can be most beligerent.
Absolutely. Walruses can be most beligerent.
Perhaps you can lure the walrus out and get him to eat your landlord? That'd solve a couple of problems: first, the walrus problem; second, paying rent.
Wow!!--So that is where John Lennon went! "I am the Walrus!!---coocoocoochoocoocoo... Well, now off to my "Magical Mystery tour".BEATLESFOREVER!...
Not unless you want to pay a pet deposit!
No, just leave him there and talk to him when you walk by. He is lonely. From time to time he will get hungry so feed him. They don't eat all that much & really are not that noisy.
All in all, they are great pets!
(Well, aside from the whole potty training deal but that's another story all together.)
I would try to contact the landlord, but if he doesn't answer, I believe Home Depot sells walrus traps. They're very similar to the common spring mouse trap but are the size of a standard sheet of plywood. The best bait to use would be "Wally's Walrus Bait", also available at Home Depot. Just be careful setting the trap, and for God's sake, keep your pet elephant seal away from the damn thing! If this doesn't work, stand by your heat register and make a noise like a penguin... this should draw him out. Good Luck!
Get him out at once! And have a big ol barbeque, them walruses is good eatin. It's what's for dinner!
NO - I would sick the killer whales on him instead! :-)
P.S. And while you’re at it, throw that shameless landlord in with him too!
Tusk, tusk, what a bad tenant!
Oh God, did I just say that? *Shame*
I live in Brooklyn and had a similar problem. The clanging and sea-mammal moaning kept me awake and really affected my performance at work.
I told my landlord and he called a guy in to deal with the problem. He was pretty insistent that I had caused the issue by leaving herring heads around the apartment, but we agreed to split the cost 50/50.
Turns out it was an elephant-seal. Boy, was my face red.
Yes, walruses are accustomed to cold temperatures and could suffocate in the heating ducts. You should keep the walrus in your refrigerator. Stock up on mackerel first.
Do you have an oil-fired boiler? If so, the walrus blubber could be used for fuel to cut down on your heating bills. Make sure harpoon gun damage is covered by your renter's policy first.
Yes, he could damage your ducts.