Is it ethical to contact the buyer of my house before the closing without going through the realtor?
Answers:
Ethical or not, it ain't smart. Once you have hired a "mouthpiece," be it realtor or attorney, if you speak directly to the other side, or speak to the other side's mouthpiece yourself instead of through yours, you can ruin all the work your agent (which is the generic term) has done for you, not to mention cause them to make mistakes from not knowing what you said in such direct contacts. Speak to the person who is on your side because you hired him/her, and let him or her speak for you. That's why you hire such a person.
Other answers:
no harm in trying. cause in the end, your place will end up with him/her.
no harm in trying. cause in the end, your place will end up with him/her.
I don't know whether it is unethical, but I would let the realtor know I was talking directly to the buyer and why ... unless you're planning to do something underhanded. Then it's unethical in more ways than one.
When I purchased my house the seller called me directly without being asked to. He told me where the warranties and manuals for the appliances would be, extra keys, and the measurements of the garage. I had neither asked nor expected him to call. I have no idea whether he told his realtor that he was calling.
I did let my realtor know that he had called me. But then I had the greatest realtor in the world and I wouldn't have kept anything from her anyway. She remains a good friend to this day. Make sure your realtor has integrity, honesty, and is truly representing YOUR interests. If not, you have the wrong realtor.
GO through the realtor no matter what. You have no idea how stuff like this can get screwed up before the closing of a house. One small thing can result in the deal getting screwed up and your are left holding the bag. Protect yourself, and that's what your realtor is there to help you do.
Your realtor has probably "seen it all" and is better equipped to handle any questions or problems than you are. That is part of what you are paying them for. The realtor wants the sale to go through so they will handle things to maximize the chances of that happening.
I know of cases where the buyer wanted certain things done that the seller couldn't agree to. The realtor paid to have them done just so they could get the commision from the sale.
It may or may not be ethical depending on the purpose of the discussion. But as noted in other responses, its probably not a good idea w/out checking with your agent first. A seemingly innocent discussion could ruin your deal and that's the last thing you want.